


Downfall

by ChaosKilledTheDinosaurs



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Gen, JD Lives, JD blows up the school, Veronica dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-09-28 09:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17180402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosKilledTheDinosaurs/pseuds/ChaosKilledTheDinosaurs
Summary: Jason Dean's plan worked out the way that he had wanted, but at what cost? After Veronica dies with the rest of Westerburg, he leaves Sherwood, leaving his old life behind in hopes of finding a much better one. He doesn't quite get what he asked for.





	1. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Sophia for giving me the prompt idea and for helping me edit!

“It’s over, JD! Tell me how to turn the god damn bomb off!” Jason listened to Veronica say this in a voice that she made sound confident. With her aiming a gun at him, even he figured that there would be some type of surrender on his side. Whether it was as big as actually surrendering, or simply showing the true emotions he was feeling. Each and every one.

Instead, he smirked down at the brunette, unthreatened by anything she could do. Not because he didn’t believe she would do it, he knew she would. But because of that wide range of emotions he currently felt. Sadness as he saw the love of his life aiming a gun at him, a look in her eyes that told him she wouldn’t hesitate to shoot. Anger from that exact same thing, as well as knowing that she could very well stop him from killing all of the assholes that were in the gym right now.

But he had to put that aside. All of it. This… this needed to happen. And right now, he didn’t care how.

He sent his signature smirk down at her, sinister intentions obviously behind it as he knocked the gun out of her hand, grabbing it, and aiming it at her. “I wouldn’t speak so soon, Veronica,” He said, glancing at the timer on the bomb. He still had time. “Look, I tried to convince you to come with me, but it’s too late now. You’re too far gone to be brought back to my side, and I won’t force you to come with me when I leave.”

There was fear in her eyes as well as surprise. For him, it was easy to tell.

“You won’t shoot,” He heard her mutter, trying to bring that same confidence back to her voice, but ultimately failing. She didn’t have the advantage over him anymore. “I know you won’t. You’re a fucking coward!”

“Is that really what you think of me, Veronica?” He said with a malicious grin. “What? That I’m just like my old man? Is that it?” He let out a huff, glaring down at her. “I’m the exact fucking opposite! I take action! Soon enough, this entire town, fuck, call me a dreamer; but the entire world, is going to benefit from these assholes dying! Just wait and see!” He chuckled to himself, tilting his head to the side as he pressed the gun against her, letting it linger on her stomach for a few moments before he pulled it back, just slightly. “Well, you won’t get a chance to.”

He stepped forward slowly until Veronica had her back to the wall, sending him pleading eyes. The realization that death was near had hit her long ago, but her fear of it hadn’t come until now. “There are other ways! After so long this is going to turn into the same fucking thing that happened to Heather, Kurt, and Ram! You think you’re changing things, but you’re not! I think… I think you know that on some level.”

He stared down at he, clenching his jaw as he listened to her words. He was in too deep to take them into consideration. He put his hand behind the back of her head, kissing her passionately and refusing to let her leave the embrace. He pulled back slowly, pressing the gun to her stomach with an odd look of awe. “I really do love you, Veronica.”

He pulled the trigger.

“But even you can’t stop this.”

JD tucked the gun back into his jacket as he stared at the school from a safe distance. This was finally happening. He couldn’t help but smile at the idea. Before, this had all seemed so far away. Hell, even when he was setting up the bomb in the boiler room. He didn’t have any ideas of what, or who could have stopped him, but the thought crossed his mind many times. He had to put those thoughts aside to continue.

And now, the moment was finally here. He plugged his ears as he took a few more steps back. Three, two, one. He watched as the bombs throughout the school went off, flames swallowing the area where Westerburg used to lie. Due to his father’s work, he had seen building blow up before. Hell, he had even seen a handful of them in person. But none of them were quite like this. Never had he seen something that would make such an impact on so many people’s lives. And knowing he was the one responsible for it? That somehow made it even better.

He quickly planted the note and petition before fleeing the area, not wanting to be seen by any people narby who would come out to investigate the source of the noise and the smell of smoke. He began his walk home, overjoyed at the results of what he had done. Though deep in his mind, the thoughts that he wouldn’t dare let come to the surface; he felt sorrow, guilt, remorse, loss. Veronica was dead.

Soon enough, he walked through the front door of his house, forcing a small and unnatural looking smile when he saw his father. “Son, I didn’t know that you’d be home early.” He walked towards the living room, furrowing his brows as he looked around as subtly as he could. Where the hell where the car keys?

“I thought I told you yesterday, pop.” He muttered, the blank expression on his face turning into confusion as he looked up at his son. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Don’t talk back to me, tiger.” He muttered, rolling his eyes before looking back at him. “Look, champ, I uh, I need to borrow your car for the night. I’m taking Veronica to the drive-in. She wants to see that new horror flick.”

“So take your bike. There’s a reason I bought it for you.”

“It’s supposed to be cold out. And a trench coat can only keep the two of us warm for so long.” His bike wouldn’t exactly be the best option for being on the run. There would be nights where he may not be able to afford a decent place to sleep. He would prefer sleeping in his dad’s car rather then a park bench somewhere.

Bud rolled his eyes before standing up, finding his car keys and brining them to JD. He glared down at him, letting out a huff as he gave JD a light shove. “You better be fucking grateful for this, you little shit.”

JD let out a heavy sigh as he looked up at him, the confident aura around him beginning to fade. “Of course,” He muttered, staring his father in the eyes. “I’ll be back before midnight,” He muttered, spinning the keys around his finger as he walked out the door and to the car.

As he began to drive, there was an eerie type of joy surrounding him. Anyone would have realized this without knowing what had happened beforehand. He was unnaturally happy. And JD being JD, that was a major warning sign.

Eventually, he grew tired of the silence, turning on the radio. He turned up the volume, humming along to ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’, staring ahead at the road as he went through his plan. He’d be in Pennsylvania within a few hours. He had to be out of Ohio by today. His name was on the petition as well, and it wouldn’t be easy to explain why he was leaving the state after his school blew up and he was declared dead.

_Welcome to your life. There’s no turning back._

The road ahead didn’t have many other cars on it. Of course, JD didn’t mind. Even in simple situations such as… driving a car, he preferred solitude. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. With how often he moved, he had grown accustomed to eating in the cafeteria by himself, locking himself in his room until his father drank himself to sleep, and spending late nights at the Snappy Snack Shack when his father was too preoccupied with his drinking to get his son dinner like he had promised. This type of loneliness would be different, but he would adapt to it. And it would be better.

_It’s my own design. It’s my own remorse. Help me to decide. Help me make the most._

Her face. God, she had never looked at him like that before. And a benefit of her being dead? He would never have to see her like that again. She looked at him with fear in her eyes, a sudden realization that… that she was going to die. And because of him. She was scared. Genuinely terrified. She knew that not only was she going to die, but everyone in that god forsaken school was going to too. Maybe she blamed herself for it. With that much guilt on her shoulders… she may not have made it long if his plan had gone through and she had been alive to see it.

_All for freedom and for pleasure. Nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world._

He couldn’t think about that right now. Fuck, he was finally away from his father, all of those dicks were dead, he couldn’t be happier! Veronica’s death wasn’t something that he had wanted, but it needed to happen. It had to. He knew that. So why the hell was it so hard for him to stop thinking about her? Maybe it wasn’t completely planned, but it happened. She tried to stop him, and he couldn’t let her. Things were better now. They were.

As the song ended, he began to gather his thoughts again. Back to the plan. He couldn’t just wing it as he went into this thing.

He’d stop at a motel for a night or two in Pennsylvania before starting to make his way to New York. He wasn’t quite sure what he would do from there. He had grabbed some cash from Bud before he left for school that morning, but it wouldn’t last forever.

He shook his head letting out a heavy sigh. “Lighten up, Jason,” He muttered, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he said this. This was a good thing. Not only were they all dead, but he’d also never have to deal with his father anymore. The realization of that was enough for him to sing along quietly to the next song.

It was a long drive, but he eventually crossed the state line. While he knew that he should drive until he found a motel, he needed a distraction. So, he pulled into the first Snappy Snack Shack he could find.

He walked into the gas station with his hands shoved into his pockets, heading straight towards the register to buy a hot dog for himself. He hadn’t eaten since last night. He took a bite of it as he walked over to one of the counters, leaning back against it with a heavy sigh.

Things seemed normal for a while, until one of the employees was told to turn the channel to the news. He did so, and JD watched as a woman stood in front of where Westerburg used to be, now reduced to nothing but ash. He smirked to himself momentarily before putting on a solemn expression.

“I’m here at what used to be Westerburg High, now the place of Sherwood, Ohio’s schoolwide suicide pact. Today was meant to be a joyous, fun occasion for the students, but instead, ended in tragedy for students, staff, parents, and the entire community of Sherwood. From the note that was left at the scene, by who, we don’t know, we have the names of the victims, and can see that they all agreed to this. The victims are as follows; Courtney Hart, Peter Dawson, Heather McNamera, Heather Duke,”

“Two very _popular_ students,” JD mimicked under his breath.

“Betty Finn, Martha Dunnstock, Veronica Sawyer, Jason Dean,”

JD stopped listening when it came to the names that he didn’t recognize, but he couldn’t help but think back to the fact that she read both his own name and Veronica’s. He wasn’t surprised by this. He had signed the petition himself, and Heather Duke had forged Veronica’s. But… there was something different about hearing someone else reading those names. Saying they were dead. Well… Veronica was. But that wasn’t his original plan. He was sure he would have been able to bring Veronica to his side, or at the very least get her to leave with him, rather then die in that hell hole with the rest of them.

He sighed shakily as he stared down at his hand. This was fucking insane. What the hell was he doing?! He closed his eyes tightly, leaning his head back against the wall. Did he fuck up? No, no he couldn’t have! Everything was perfect now! They were dead, he was away from his dad, and Veronica… well, every war had casualties. He had to kill her to… to win. She was as bad as the rest of them. She tried to stop him from killing them! She wanted Westerburg to remain a place filled with hate!

“You fucking, dumbass,” He muttered to himself, closing his eyes. “She didn’t—”

“Um, sir?” He furrowed his brows as he heard the voice, opening his eyes to look down at a girl with short red hair and freckle. One of the employees. Probably a year or two older then him. “Are you okay?”

“Perfecto.” He said with a slight chuckle, pursing his lips. “Just… thinking.”

She nodded looking at the TV with a heavy sigh. She assumed his behavior was due to the news report. “It’s awful, isn’t it?” She frowned to herself, chewing the inside of her cheek before she turned back to face him.

“A real shame,” He muttered, biting his lip. He sighed heavily, grabbing a large slushie cup before filling it up with cherry slush. He reached to pull out his wallet, starting to walk towards the register.

“Wait-”

He stopped, turning towards her with a raised eyebrow.

“Let me pay for that. You… you look like you’ve had a rough day.”

He seemed confused, looking between her and the slushie, his hand still on his wallet, which was halfway out of his pocket. “Are you sure..?”

She smiled softly at him. “Positive.”

He tucked his wallet away, still looking a bit hesitant. He wasn’t really used to anyone being nice to him just because. “Uh, thanks,” He muttered, offering a faint smile. Though looking close enough, you could see the genuineness in it.

He took a sip of the slushie as he left, frowning to himself as he walked back to his father’s-to his car. It was his car now. He got into the driver’s seat, letting out a shaky sigh as he leaned back against his seat, closing his eyes. Jesus fucking Christ, she was dead. And everyone thought he was too. Not that anyone would give a shit. And that included his father.

Veronica… maybe she had felt the same way when he shot her. Her friends were going to die too. She knew that. Sure, she had her parents, but they both knew that her relationship with them wasn’t great. And, of course she didn’t think that he would care. He was the one who fucking shot her. He killed her! And what? Because she was trying to stop him? If it had been that simple to kill her in the boiler room, he could have easily brought her here with him. She wouldn’t have enjoyed it. She would have fucking protested everything the entire time. But at least she wouldn’t be dead!

He quickly wiped away the tears that had built up in his eyes, only for then to be replaced by even more. He shook his head, gripping his hair as he started the car and began to speed off.

Refusing to let his thoughts be the only thing for him to focus on, he quickly turned on the radio. He stared ahead at the road, cursing under his breath as he realized that the radio show host was talking about Westerburg’s suicide pact. “Fuck, is there nothing else to talk about?” He muttered to himself. “Doesn’t Big Fun have a new song or some shit?” Before he could continue the conversation with himself, he froze, hearing a familiar voice on the radio.

His father. He was confused and somewhat panicked before realizing it was just an ad. He scoffed to himself, shaking his head. “Poor timing there, huh?” He grinned a bit shakily, continuing to drive and changing the radio station. Enough of that shit.

‘Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It)’ began to play. He huffed, narrowing his eyes at the road. “Fuck me,”

After several more hours of driving, he finally stopped at a motel. A few more hours of driving tomorrow and he’d be in New York. He let out a heavy sigh as he got out of the car and walked into the building, getting a room for himself.

He stared down at the keys in his hands with furrowed brows, shaking his head before taking the stairs up to his room and walking inside. It looked like an absolute shit hole. But it’s what he had to live with for now. He had the money from his dad, but only so much. He’d have to deal with shitty motel rooms for a while. At least until he could find a steady source of income. Which… wouldn’t be the easiest thing to do without a high school diploma. He’d figure it out.

He set the keys down on the nightstand, flopping down on the bed. “What a day,” He muttered, letting out a deep sigh. He closed his eyes, staying like this for a while before he sat up and turned on the TV. He usually didn’t sleep well, and he could already tell that tonight would be no exception. He may as well have something to distract him.

He ended up watching some stupid sitcom for an hour or two before laying down and attempting to sleep. The attempt failed, and he stayed up late watching Psycho and The Shining before passing out into a nightmare filled sleep.


	2. Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Life got in the way so I didn't get a lot of time to work on this, but I'm so glad I'm finally able to get it posted! I'm hoping that the last chapter will be posted sooner then this one. But I'd love to see all of your comments on this chapter and I really hope you guys like it! Enjoy!

The door slammed open, causing JD to sit up in his bed with wide eyes. He barely got a glimpse of the cops at the door before the two of them came towards him. One had a pair of handcuffs.

“What the hell?!”  He yelled out in confusion, struggling as he tried to escape the hold the cop had him in as the other put the handcuffs on his wrists.

It wasn’t until his father stepped in front of him, an oddly satisfied grin on his face, that he realized what had happened.

“You turned me in?” His voice was filled with anger, though there was a small hint of sadness to it. Not because of some sort of betrayal by his father, but because everything had already fallen apart. Bud was getting the satisfaction of seeing his own son arrested, while JD would spend the rest of his life rotting in a prison cell. Hell, with what he did he may not even get off that easy.

His father simply laughed before responding. “God damn Jason, you really are an idiot. The news estimated around what time the school blew up. And it was before you came to grab the car keys. After that, all it took was one call to the cops, and we were able to find you here. I knew you’d still be somewhere around Ohio.”

He shook his head in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. He had it all planned out perfectly! He was even able to stop Veronica! But his father. His fucking father had to be the one to find him. To find the small details that would lead to JD’s demise. The things that he hadn’t even considered originally.

JD was going to die because of him.

Before he had time to fully comprehend the reality of his situation, the two cops that had been holding him forced him to stand up, shoving him a bit as they walked to the door. And while JD’s calm facade hadn’t completely broken, there was obvious panic written on his face as he was led out by the cops.

“What the hell are you gaining from this?” He asked as he looked back to his father, trying to bring the edge back to his voice.

Bud smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched him. “You out of my life. Permanently.”

Sick fucking bastard. “I was!” Tears built up in his eyes as he said this, pain and regret in his mind. He should have just taken his bike.

“And those kids deserve justice. Right, Jason?”

“Bullshit! You don’t care about them!”

His father’s menacing grin was the last thing he saw before he was led through the doorway.

But rather then being met by the motel parking lot, he had stepped into an all-white room. The cops were now gone, as were the handcuffs that they had put on him.

He looked around the area, panic and confusion beginning to take over again. Jesus Christ, he was going insane, wasn’t he?

He froze when his eyes landed on another figure. They couldn’t have been more then a few feet away from him. He slowly stepped forward, a warm smile coming over his face when he finally realized who it was.

“Veronica?”

Holy shit he had missed her. Though he hadn’t realized how much until now. He began to walk closer to her and smiled to himself as she did the same. When close enough, he wrapped her in a warm embrace, closing his eyes as he held her close. “You’re here,” He mumbled, closing his eyes.

She didn’t return the gesture, instead moving away from him. She tilted her head to the side as she watched him, a smirk playing at her lips. But it wasn’t the one that JD had grown used to. The fun, mysterious, enticing one. The one that had drawn him in from the start.

No, this wasn’t Veronica’s smirk.

“I’m not,” She said simply, slight amusement on her face. “Because you killed me.” She placed a finger on her stomach. Right where he had pressed the gun. Right where he had shot her. “How did it feel, Jason? Did it give you everything that you wanted? Was it exactly like you had hoped it would be?” She looked up at him with an unnatural grin. “And what about when the school blew up? I mean, you really reminded me of your dad with that one, let me tell ya,”

He stared down at her with hurt in his eyes, though there was a strange mixture of other emotions as well. But any happy ones that he had had upon seeing Veronica’s face again were already long gone. “I didn’t-“ He watched as Veronica raised an eyebrow at him, that wicked smirk returning to her face. After a few moments of him stuttering over his words he finally said, “I’m not like him.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She rolled her eyes. “And you may be trying to dance around the fact that you killed me, but it’s not going to be easy to do that with the entire student body. You can keep thinking that everything will end perfectly for you, but with this constantly on your mind? It’s going to drive you insane. That is, if it hasn’t already.”

“Veronica, you don’t know what your talking about!” He said this, though he was starting to doubt himself more and more. About everything.

“Of course, I do.” Slowly, he saw others appear behind her. He immediately recognized the fist two as Heather Duke and Heather McNamera. “Because I tried to warn you. I tried to stop you.” They were followed by Martha Dunnstock, Peter Dawson, and a few football players. “And if you would have just listened, things could have been better.” Courtney, Dennis, Rodney, Fleming. The area filled with people. Students, faculty, everyone that he had killed in that stupid fucking school. “But it’s too late now.” Three people made their way to the front of the crowd, not having to push past the others as everyone instantly moved aside for them. Heather Chandler, Kurt Kelly, and Ram Sweeney. “It’s too late.”

The final words that Veronica spoke were enough to wake him from his nightmare. His breathing was heavy as he sat up in bed, closing his eyes tightly as he ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck,”

It took a few minutes of him sitting alone in the motel room for his breathing to slow and his heartbeat to return to normal. He didn’t speak during this time, but his thoughts were racing around his head, too fast for him to even process what all of them were.

He couldn’t feel guilty about this. It was the right thing to do. He knew that. He had told himself that so many times. It had to be true.

That dream was… it was just a dream. Why was he becoming so paranoid over a dream?

He noticed that his gaze kept returning to the door. The same one that they had come through.

He quickly forced those thoughts away, closing his eyes tightly. “Not real. It’s not going to happen. Of course, you were going to have a bad dream after watching two horror movies before you fell asleep!” Right. That’s what it was. Not a guilty conscience, or the panic and worry that… he wouldn’t make it through this. Just his sub-conscience applying shit from the movie to his real life.

He opened his eyes slowly, taking one last look at the door to reassure himself that no one was there. He let out a sigh of relief, forcing a faint smile in an attempt to ease himself.

“See? Nothing to worry about.”

Still, a voice in the back of his head kept replaying words in his mind. Kept replaying that horrifying moment of Veronica… acting that way. Radiating an energy of pure evilness. Something that truly terrified him.

“It’s over now,” He muttered quietly to himself, raking a hand through his hair. “And Veronica didn’t say that. She-she wouldn’t say that.” She couldn’t anymore. Maybe if she was still alive… if he had managed to only _almost_ shoot her. Maybe she would..

But the fact that he would never have an actual answer to that question, that it was all up to his paranoid and anxious thoughts to try and come up with a reasonable answer? That scared him.

He took another few moments to himself before finally standing up and walking over to the chair where he had laid out his flannel. He put it on with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes as he held onto the back of the chair.

Everything would be fine. He had to believe that. Continue telling himself that. The problem right now was that he didn’t know when everything would fall into place. He didn’t know where he was going to stay when he got to New York, he didn’t have a steady source of income, nor anybody that he could ask for money, not to mention everyone thought that he had died with the rest of the school.

Considering they had said his name along with the other people that had died that day, and probably would many more times, well… he’d have to change it. Or at least start going by something else until he could legally do so. And he wouldn’t be surprised if pictures of the deceased, which included him, would be shown on the news. Hopefully cutting a few inches off his hair, along with drug store hair dye would be enough to conceal his identity.

“What was I talking about?” He said quietly as he stared down at the ground with furrowed brows. “Right, right, just… I just have to focus on the future. It’s bound to get better then shitty motels and thinking about what color to dye my hair at some point.”

That’s what he hoped at least. He had never really been an optimistic person, especially not since his mother died. So, the whole ‘think about the future and how great your life is going to be’ thing, wasn’t a concept that he was very used to. And his current situation was making it much harder to try and adapt to that way of thinking.

But at this point, it was almost necessary for him to do in order to survive.

Soon after the conversation with himself, he had collected his thoughts enough to where he was finally able to start packing up his things and check out of the motel. He drove for about thirty minutes before going through a McDonald’s drive through to get himself breakfast. He ate in the parking lot in his car before setting off again.

The drive wouldn’t necessarily be short, but from what the GPS said, it would still be at least an hour shorter then his five-hour drive from Ohio to Pennsylvania. He passed the time by listening to various radio stations, and other music that he had in the car. While most of the music did belong to his father, he enjoyed listening to it. His dad was an asshole, but the man had good taste in music. And admittedly, it brought him back to simpler times.

Before his mom died, the Dean family road trips were something that he had always looked forward to. Sure, he dreaded moving; but spending hours in the car listening to classic rock, his mother singing along as she tried to convince Bud to do the same, the stupid conversations him and his mother would have on the way to their new house, and Bud eventually giving into the road games his mom would try and get him to play with them. They were good times. And he had fond memories of them.

But he didn’t have many good memories after his mother died. God, at eight years old, his life had found a way to completely fuck him over. And it had continued to do that for years. Hell, it was still doing it to him now.

Deep down… well, maybe not that deep, he knew that this wasn’t an ideal situation. At least, it was no where near what he was hoping his life would be when the school blew up. It wasn’t like he was expecting everything to just fall into place. He didn’t expect to be instantly happy either. But… he was hoping for better than this.

Maybe because he had imagined going through all of this with Veronica by his side. It wasn’t like he had planned on killing her. Well… he had, but he was sure that he would be able to get her to go along with his plan. Or at least get her out of the school in time so that she had no choice but to come with him.

He was used to solitude, but he was used to it being a choice.

Hours passed, but eventually, with only three rest stops, JD made it to New York. He drove for a while until he found a decent place to park his car, and hopefully sleep tonight.

Though… decent wasn’t really the right word for the area that he had found.

It was dingy. To put it mildly. And more honestly? Very trashy. It probably wasn’t somewhere that he would want to stay for long. But it would have to do for now. Even though he had left early, he wasn’t sure he could drive for much longer today. His plan was to find a motel, get a room, and spend the rest of the day in there until he was ready to leave for somewhere… better.

He had parked next to the sidewalk of a park. While it was mostly barren, there were groups of people milling about. Most of them were off by themselves, simply staring at the passersby. Either they were minding their own business, or simply keeping to themselves as they peeked into the lives of strangers.

And while they weren’t as common as the lone people at the park, there were people in groups together. He saw at least one family, but for the most part, anyone else who was there together seemed to be friends. Maybe friends with a more familial bond.

Others were harder to pinpoint. Maybe they were sitting together under a tree with a few others, but they didn’t speak to each other. They stared off into space, and he wondered, was this a way that strangers were avoiding speaking to one another? Or were they people with a bond so deep, they could sit in silence, not even having to look at each other.

He also noticed people who were by themselves, though staring at another person who wasn’t far away. JD couldn’t help but wonder if it was because they knew each other, or because they were just… staring at them.

“Of course, there’s a fucking homeless park,” He muttered to himself, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t there be?”

He wasn’t quite sure what had gotten into him, maybe it was just because he didn’t see how things could get worse at this point, but he got out of his car and walked to the park.

He sat down on a park bench and looked down at his shoes with a vacant stare. He did his best to let his mind go blank, but that was easier said then done. With the amount of shit that had been going through his mind, it was impossible to try and forget about everything. Even if just for a few minutes.

Every time he was able to momentarily distract himself from a shitty thought, everything would just come crashing back down on him.

Though his methods must have worked to some degree, for he didn’t notice the man that had sat next to him until he lifted his head to try and take in the scenery.

“Jesus!” He said with a jump when he finally noticed the other person. He looked to be in about his late-fifties to mid-sixties. His hair had most likely finished graying many years ago, and JD was sure that the stress of his… situation, didn’t help in delaying that.

Not to mention he was holding a bottle of liquor. It was hidden in a paper bag, but anyone could tell what the contents inside of it were. He didn’t really see the point in hiding it in a place like this. From what he could tell, everyone was either drinking or worse.

The man chuckled to himself a bit at JD’s reaction, a curious smile on his lips. “Didn’t mean to scare you,” He spoke in a surprisingly warm tone. “Been on my feet for too long today, and well… the benches aren’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but it’s better then nothing. I would have asked but, you looked like you had something on your mind.”

“Right,” He muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Something like that.”

He nodded thoughtfully as he watched JD. Pursing his lips, he stayed quiet for a moment before asking, “Trying to get something off your mind?”

“Bingo.”

He held the bottle to him.

JD hesitated only a moment before grabbing the bottle and taking a swig.

“How old are you?”

He slowly moved the bottle away from his lips. _Shit._ “Twenty-one..” He didn’t bother trying to make his voice sound confident as he answered, which he was sure would end up biting him in the ass.

He was surprised to simply hear the man laugh in response. He looked down at JD with a grin. “Sure. And I’m twenty-five. How old are you really?”

“Seventeen,” He only looked upset for a moment, and confusion took over soon after. “Do I really look that young?”

He shrugged. “It’s uh, it’s just the air you’ve got around you.”

What was that supposed to mean? Maybe it was better not to ask.

He stared down at the bottle before letting out a defeated sigh and handing it back to the man.

He shook his head, holding one of his hands out. “You look like you need it more then I do. And don’t worry, they could care less if you’re underage ‘round here.”

He wasn’t really surprised by that, and he didn’t hesitate before drinking more. “Well, I don’t really plan on staying here long,”

“Where’re you off to?”

The dreaded question. He had been trying his best to come up with an answer to that question for himself since he left Sherwood. The best answer he had been able to come up with was that it would have to be somewhere that he could actually live. He’d need somewhere he could find a job, hide his identity, know people wouldn’t recognize him, and if it was possible, somewhere he would be able to build a better life.

He didn’t know where that place was. Nor if it actually existed. But he needed to find it.

“Not sure yet,” Was the answer he decided on. “I’m probably staying in New York, but other than that?” He shrugged and let out a heavy sigh. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“You’re by yourself out here aren’t you?”

He hesitated before nodding, taking a swig from the bottle as he waited for him to say… well, he wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting for him to say.

“You know, a lot of us are alone out here too.” He took a moment to look around the park, a solemn expression on his face. “But… you’re so young. God kid, it must be rough.”

He shrugged, staring off into the distance as he listened, a sadness present in his eyes. “I’ve been alone most of my life, one way or another. If anything, _actually_ being alone out here is a good thing. It means my dad can’t fuck me up more than he already has.”

“Is that why you left? Because of your dad?”

Well… he couldn’t tell him the actual reason. Though, he had envisioned leaving his home, his _father_ many times before. So often in fact, that he was surprised he hadn’t left years ago. “Mmh. I finally got sick of his shit. The drinking, taking all of his anger out on me,” He shook his head. “I realized I couldn’t live with it any more. I refused to.”

The man listened to JD thoughtfully. When he finished talking, he didn’t speak for a while. It wasn’t a matter of disinterest or trying to find the right thing to say, it was because he knew that there was no right thing to say. Not to that. He couldn’t just tell him that everything would be okay. That everything would fall into place and work itself out. Because it wouldn’t. Not by itself anyway. He would have to put in a lot of effort to get his life to a happy place, let alone a decent one. No seventeen-year-old should have to go through that much effort just to live their life. No person should have to. And he knew that.

“I’m sorry.” His tone was genuine. Empathetic. Comforting even.

“It’s not your fault my dad’s a shitty person.”

“I know. And it’s not your fault either. You shouldn’t have had to live your entire life with someone like that. And you shouldn’t have to be trying to rebuild your life into something better because he made it shitty.”

JD felt tears bubble at the corners of his eyes as he listened to his words. He took them to heart. No, he didn’t run away because of Bud, but fuck, it’s not like he was lying when he told him about his dad’s behaviors and treatment of him. And sure, he was glad to finally be away from that asshole, but he had only dug himself a deeper hole. He had nothing now. Not even the roof over his head that his abusive father had given him.

He felt tears streak down his cheeks, and he didn’t bother to wipe them away. He didn’t give a shit if people saw him cry. All his feeling were beginning to overwhelm him, and currently, this was the only way to let them out. He felt all his anger, sadness, fear, and confusion pour out of him at once. Everything that he had been holding in since Veronica broke up with him and he began to construct his plan. It felt like too much all at once.

He began to take deep breaths to try and calm himself down, and while it did take a while, they started to work eventually. He combed a hand through his hair, closing his eyes as he let out a shaky breath. He felt his entire body tremble as he did so.

When he finally became aware of his surroundings again, he looked over at the person sitting next to him. “Wh-what’s your name?” He managed to ask. “Seems like I should at least know that about you, considering we already got into the deep psychological shit.”

“Mark,” He told him in that same compassionate voice.

“Jason,” He didn’t bother using a fake name. He doubted any of the people here knew what had happened at the school, other then possibly listening in on conversations about it.

He put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a look of reassurance. “Jason, I know it can be scary out here. Believe me. But… I think you’re going to find a way to make it through. It may take a while before things finally seem right, but you’re going to get there one day, I swear.”

JD nodded, giving Mark a shaky but grateful smile. Even if it was faint. “Thank you,” He said quietly. He hesitated a moment before he leaned forward and hugged him. It was a bit awkward at first, though eventually, they both eased into it.

JD left soon afterwards, leaving the bottle with Mark before he walked back to his car. He got into the driver’s seat, and for once, it didn’t take long before he passed out into a deep sleep.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
